Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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