Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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