Midget sex pt 2 tonight
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
