The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
