I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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