I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
