Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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