Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
