There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
