Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
