..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm experimenting with sincerity
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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