Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
