This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
