he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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