$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
third nipple confirmed
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
