I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
