I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
