I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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