but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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