a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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