I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
