Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
