how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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