We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
