Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
