this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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