take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
