He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
