He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
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