ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
