so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
