dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
