margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
