if you like me you must not know who I am
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
