Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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