Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
