she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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