well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
