It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
