you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
