at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
