she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
