OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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