Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
