sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
