just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
