First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
