Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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