So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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