i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
