Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
