Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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