I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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