White coat. Heels.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
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