My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
